Jiwon Roh 卢智媛

ACENTRICSPACE第120位驻地艺术家

2024年六七八月驻地艺术家

卢智媛

No. 120 ACENTRICSPACE Resident Artist

June July August Resident Artist, 2024

Jiwon Roh

关于艺术家 About the Artist

（韩国 South Korea）

www.instagram.com/newcountrykid

从儿童时期到青少年时期的经历对成年后的影响很大，成长在父母文化之外的不同文化中被称为‘第三文化孩子（Third Culture Kid：TCK）’的人，即使在儿童时期，也会对自我身份感到困惑。我是韩国人，但出生在中国北京，在上海接受了英语教育。作为第三文化孩子，我在自我为中心的文化环境中度过了童年，这是在父母的教导下，他们告诉我是一个“特别而独一无二的存在”。随着时间的流逝，我对未来失去了希望，经历了身份困惑、人际关系冲突、经济困难和落后，开始探索逃避空间。

在给予的情况下不懂得感恩，无法摆脱被视为零和毫无价值存在的想法，令人遗憾。期望与现实之间的差距让我感到绝望和愤怒，各种情绪在冲突中强烈地摇撼着我。曾经模糊不清的是羞愧还是悲伤的心情，在接受失败后变得清晰，使我从杂念中解脱出来。承认自己的软弱，承认挫折是开始新生活的第一步。我决定不执着于流逝的时间，接受不断重复的挫折和自己的脆弱。如果不能读懂时代的流变，冲突和挫折可能会加剧。在时代的变革中，我试图找到自己，摆脱重复的模式，通过工作来克服它们。

我的作品源于对自己的不信任，这种不信任是通过自我贬低的内容培养出来的。在被折磨和绝望的生活中，我寻找自贬的幽默元素，拍摄既有趣又不好笑的图像，并通过收集的参考资料以文字形式记录我的想法。通过视频装置、表演、游戏、随笔等方式，我表达了对自己的愤世嫉俗的接受，认为自己实际上是一个毫无意义和脆弱的存在，并努力为观众提供一些安慰，尽管可能有些胆怯。尽管现代社会被焦虑和绝望所包围，但我们的生活终究必须继续。尽管悲伤和无力席卷了一代人，但最终我们会克服并找到新的道路。

Experiences from childhood to adolescence, when values are not yet established, have a significant impact even into adulthood. Children raised in cultures different from their parents’, known as Third Culture Kids (TCK), often experience identity confusion both as children and as adults. I’m Korean, but I was born in Beijing, China, and received English-language education in Shanghai. As a Third Culture Kid, I spent my childhood in a self-centered culture under the teaching from my parents that I was a ‘special and unique existence’. Over time, I lost hope for the future due to identity confusion, conflicts in relationships, financial difficulties, and feelings of being left behind, seeking escape.

I felt regretful for not knowing how to be grateful for the given circumstances, unable to shake off the feeling of being worthless and close to zero existence. The disparity between expectation and reality led to feelings of despair and anger, shaking me vigorously amidst conflicts. What was once ambiguous, whether it was embarrassment or sadness, became clear upon accepting failure, liberating me from distractions. Acknowledging weakness and admitting defeat was the first step towards a new beginning. Without being attached to the passing time, I decided to accept recurring setbacks and my own vulnerability. Failure to read the flow of the times may exacerbate conflicts and despair. Amidst the changes of the era, I seek to find myself, breaking free from repetitive patterns through work to overcome them.

My work stems from a distrust of myself nurtured by self-deprecating content. Amidst a life that was tormenting and despairing to think about, I explored self-deprecating humor elements, capturing images that are humorous yet not, and documenting my thoughts through collected references in word format. Through video installations, performances, games, essays, and other mediums, I expressed my acceptance of the fact that my cynically tinted self is actually a meaningless and weak existence, and aimed to provide comfort to the audience, albeit somewhat timidly, offering a bit of peace of mind. Despite modern society being surrounded by anxiety and despair, our lives must continue. Though sadness and lethargy have swept through generations, ultimately, we will overcome and find new paths.

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